Monthly Archives: October 2014

Latin Prince Syndrome

*Sorry I was gone for so long. This and more coming soon!*

 

“You work late nights just to keep on the lights
Mommy got me training wheels so I could keep on my bike
And you would give anything in this world
Michael Jackson leather and a glove, but didn’t give me a curl”

-“Hey Mama” by Kanye West

Latin Prince Syndrome is an idea that a former co-worker and I discussed during a common planning meeting in my first year teaching. My co-worker, Matias Manzano, and I were venting our frustrations about our students’ behaviors and were harping in particular on the behaviors of some of our Latino male students. Our idea was similar to the proverbial “momma’s boy,” but takes into consideration other social and economic factors. We discussed the fact that poverty has a strong influence on how parents, mothers in particular, raise their children and show them affection. In our discussion we determined that the great challenges of poverty lead many mothers to overcompensate for their lack of resources with affection and material gifts. This exercise by low income mothers towards their sons gives many kids a false superiority complex and ego that could be detrimental to their future.

In my contemplation of the issue, I tried to consider the famous “Jordan sneakers” argument before casting judgment. Whenever conservatives or ignorant people discuss poverty, they invariably emphasize the fact that young children and adolescents living in poverty own nice sneakers (usually Jordan’s or Nike’s). They offer that these shoes are symbolic of the corrupted priorities that low income families have and that we shouldn’t provide “those” people with any social welfare programs or assistance. Arguments like this are both misguided and misinformed. They fail to adequately understand the value that these shoes have for children (both in terms of social capital and self-esteem) and the fact that for many parents it is the only material object that they can feasibly afford for their child and bring them (albeit misguided) happiness.

In an old documentary on the life of Allen Iverson, the future basketball Hall-of-Famer described how his family once had their electricity cut off because his mom spent the money on basketball shoes so that he would be adequately prepared for his upcoming tournament. Today, even a conservative critic could see that this was clearly a wise long term investment, with a huge short term risk, that paid off in great dividends as Iverson would go on to make millions in his career as a professional athlete. My point here is not that there is some great value to material objects that poor people see and affluent people don’t, instead I want to underscore that when people find themselves in dire or difficult circumstances their perception of what is valuable is different. As a result, mothers who raise their sons in difficult circumstances do the best to try and shield them from the harsh realities of the world. They create alternative narratives for their circumstances and nurture their children with an abundance of love and compliments. When these forms of affection begin to obscure reality, they become problematic. It’s unfair to tell your child that they are smart or sweet if they are disrespectful to adults and earning failing grades in school. It’s unfair to get your child accustomed to owning a great deal of material possessions if you aren’t showing them how to earn them for themselves in the future. Desperation leads to a blurring of lines that occasionally results in child coddling.

When my own mother and I spent a short time without a place to live, she ingeniously framed our situation as a game. She told me that for one of the first times ever we would be allowed to sleep in the car. “Who wants to be in a cramped up apartment all the time? Let’s sleep in the car for a change and tell stories.” My mom was such a clever and devoted mother that I never thought twice about our arrangement until years later and I thank her to this day for the sacrifices she made for me. While our situation was not ideal, the key to walking away from it in the correct fashion was that we revisted those times in our lives many years later and it helped me understand my life in a different light. I’m glad that we used those circumstances as learning moments and not just as delusions.

The problem in this type of framing arises from mothers and sons who never come to terms with their reality and who create a false perception of it. Mothers raise their Latino boys telling them how great they are and how much they love them. “You’re my prince from heaven. God’s gift to me!” As beautiful as these statements are, they can give young boys a complex of how “great” they are which may develop into egos that become increasingly difficult to control in the classroom and beyond. As sad as it is to say… NO ONE CARES. The world is very much a cold place and while you may be your mother’s “gift from god” you are just another Latino man to everyone else. The young boys grow up to become young men who feel entitled or special in a world that does not recognize this false sense of self-worth. Furthermore, the sad truth is that in American society, this particular ethnic and socio-economic background places you much closer to the realm of peasant than it does to prince. Giving kids a frame that shows them as special to us, but still holds them to high expectations is a much more constructive way of approaching circumstances such as the ones faced by so many of our low income families across the country.